Bipin's SMS Jokes

SARDAR-roz roz palak ki sabzi khake tang aa gaya hu . SARDARNI- palak mein iron hota hai, SARDAR- to kya meri gand me se sariya nikal ke hi dam legi..

The month of May is United Nations Breast Awareness Month. We are already 'aware' because we stare. We Stare because 'We Care'. Have a nice day:-D

Sardar ji apko garmi lagi to kya karenge ? Sardar: Cooler ke aage baith jaunga. Phir bhi garmi lage to ? Sardar cooler on kar lunga...



Ek Raat Bijli Chali Gayi. Sardar :Oye, kam se kam Fan to Chalao. Sardarani:Kar Di Na Sardaro wali Baat Fan On Karenge to Candle Nai Bujh Jayegi?

Santa to hotel manager: jaldi chalo meri biwi khidki se jaan dena chahti hai. Manager: what can i do? santa: abe kamine, khidki nahi khul rahi..

Why did Jesus never have sex? Because every time he touched a cut, it healed..

A hangover is nothing but revenge of the grapes.First we hold them by their balls and squeeze out their brains.Then they do the same....

Like IPL if there was an ISL (Indian Sex league) then what would be the name of the teams.............? 1)Hydrabad Hardcore Humpers 2)Chennai Superdicks 3)Kolkata Nightfuckers 4)Rajastan Pussies 5)Punjab Rammers XI 6)Mumbai Lesbians 7)Delhi Daredrillers 8)Banglore Royal Strippers

An old couple at a candle-light dinner. Wife, It's so romantic I can feel the warmth in my breasts!" Husband "Of course you can they are hanging in ur soup !""

Santa ki shaadi ek Nurse se ho gayi. Banta: Aur sunao Santa, kaisi nibha rahi hai? Santa: Pooch mat yaar, jab tak Sister na kaho, bolti hi nahin.

3 Ladies saw a Dog scruwing Bitch Violntly. Doc Wife: Wow! they r enjoing Life Lawrs Wf: No its Rape ! ArmyOffcr wf: Lagta hai Kutta Vacation pe Ghar aya hai..

Wife to naked husband : 'Why r u walking around naked ?D neighbours can c ur thing!' Husband : So what ? Wife: 'They'll think.. i married u only4 ur money.'

This is one of d best msg that i have ever come across... Life is beautiful* * Conditions apply......

AIDS Awareness Slogans Cover-Ur-Stump B4 U Pump" "Dont-B-Silly! Protect Ur Lully" "Dont-B-A-Fool Condomize Ur Tool"!! Fwd 2 all Careless Fuckerz."

Santa Undergone English Speaking Course. 1 Day He Went To Shopkeeper N Said-'Plz Giv Me Sum Broken Money To Climb On Gurudwara. . . . . . . . . . . .

When you touch & feel,its DESIRE. When you don't touch & still feel,its LOVE. When u touch & don't feel, then its PARALYSIS final stage.

Santa was pissing when girl saw his huge penis & said naughtilyWow I would like2hv that.Santa:Go n get a glass quickly Im about To finish!"

Santa roz wife ko sex k waqt kehta : Or Tight kar ! Achhe se Tight kar.! Wife : ek din gusse se.! Bahar jaa ke ganne ke juice ki machine me dal le.

Lambi Umar ke liye kya karna chahiye ? Ans = Shaadi . Us se kya Zindagi Lambi ho jati hai ? Ans = Nahi Lambi lagne lagti hai....!

Worried mother gives her daughter a pack of condoms b4 a hot date. Girl laughs nd hugs her mother-Times have changed Mum. I'm Dating Reena. Give me candles !!""

Q. Why was the maths lady teacher depressed after she married a Prince? A. She realized not every ruler has 12 inches....!!

A Nun 2 Mother Superior: I hav been raped.Mother: Take A Pinch Of Chillies Nun:Wil It Tk Care Of Evrythin? Motherr:NO, BT IT WIL TAKE D FUCKING SMILE OFF UR FACE""

Doctor:How can u say that ur wife has 2 holes in her ass? Santa: whenever i and banta go 2 party with her, people say here comes preeto with 2 ass-holes !!

Delhi vs Banglore IPL Match at Feroz Shah Kotla

This being the first season of IPL, my loyalty lies with my home team for lack of a choice of which team I should support. It stands as Delhi Daredevils as of now. Got myself the Daredevils T-shirt and all. So when Ridhima managed to arrange a few tickets for me to watch my team in an IPL match in Delhi. Of course I was excited. So I land up in office, gather a coupleof my colleagues who are IPL fans and we take the day off to go and watch the match. Three hours and a few beers later we finally make it to the stadium. It takes us just 10 minutes from the time we get off the car till our seats. To my surprise the guys at the entry gates were quite efficient. The atmosphere inside was electric; with the bustle of the crowd, the awesome floodlights, the loud music and the thought of watching some exciting cricket. Ten minutes to the start and the stadium was 90% occupied. Well it didn't take long for it to be fully occupied.

Where here we were; Kapil, Dharmendra and I at the stadium. Didn't take time for the match to start. Seats seemed just fine, right behind the dug out. I was starting to get hungry now. So I asked the food vendor to get me a burger and something to drink. Cost me 55 bucks. Not exorbitantly expensive as I had imagined. Actually it was quite reasonably priced. Anyway, the match started in the next 10 minutes, the stadium was packed by then. Won't describe the match as that would seem more like a commentary.

Have you ever noticed how the players seem really big and iconic when in the field. These guys seemed bigger and more charismatic in real life than they ever looked on TV. And by what it seemed live. Twenty20 cricket ir really high energy cricket. Seemed like the ball was zipping by all over the place. No wonder some of the veterans of cricket are a bit wary of it. But I guess this is the real cricket for the masses. Not the imperialistic version of the game like a 5 day match, or pure cricket as they call it. That was meant for rich imperialists and aristocrats who had nothing to do and could easily afford to play away for 5 days at a stretch. Poorer people like us can hardly afford to watch a complete ODI much less a 5 day Test Match. Poorer people like me can relate more to a Twenty20 scenario. I have grown up playing 20 over matches. We never had the time, place or the finances to arrange for anything more than that. Can you imagine a majority of the population playing ODIs in Delhi lawns and park. Its practically impossible for 99.99% of the Indian population to play anything even close to the 50 over ODI format of the game. And the 20 over format is the most played and they still say that its not the purest format. Who for? People like me and the general public, or for aristocrats and for filthy rich individuals? For people who think this is not pure cricket. I suggest you revisit your views. Twenty20 was the game played by the Indian children, and will be the future of cricket, THE REAL CRICKET. Unadultrated by imperialist pursuits.
Anyway, the things that I observed were wierd. There were a few teenage boys sitting right infront of us. Seemed like they had come to a disco rather than a cricket match. Anyway these people were standing most of the time. Blocked our view for most of the match and if they did sit down for a few seconds they would stand up as soon as the bowler started his runup. Wonder why, coz the view didn't change much if we were standing or sitting. Though they did block our view if they were standing. Anyway these guys didn't see much of the match. They didn't seem very interested in cricket in anyway. Their heads were always at the direction of the pavilion nearby, trying to catch a glimpse of Katrina Kaif. If you want to see film stars go to one of the film function. Please leave cricket to the sports fans.

If you see the fence right behing Dharma and Kapil, it seemed to be magnetic. The pacemen would be dashing up to bowl and all of a suddem most of the people in the stand would just stop seeing the criket but just one WHOOP! and everyone was stuck to this magnetic fence as if they came flying into it. Much like a fly trap. Any glimpse of Katrina or Akshay Kumar and this would happen and then slowly they would dissipate only to come flying back as soom as anyone got a glimpse of the film stars. Weird!

Halfway into the second innings, we were exhausted of the high energy crowds interested in the film stars only, people standing in your face as soon as a ball was to be bowled, very loud music and shit loads of dust and grime flying all the time. At the end of it all we were at Nizamuddin by 11:00 PM just in time to catch the last few overs of the match on TV and dinner. Quite an experience. Incidentally, this was the first time I have ever gone to watch a live match.