What did the bride do when she found out her Husband was a Gay ? She Turned Around and Took it like a Man.... ;-)
Doctor to lady:u r looking so weak and exhausted,Are u properly taking 3 Meals in a day as i had advised? lady:Oh my GOD! I heard 3 Males"
Bad- Ur girl leaves u WORSE- 4 anothr girl Bad- ur children r sexually active WORSE- Wid each other! Bad- U find porn movie in ur sons room WORSE- U r in it!
AFTER ROBBING D BANK, ROBBER 2 CLERK:Did u see me robbing? clerk:yes.robber shot him dead & asked d next clerk.did u?2nd clerk:no,but my wife hd seen u.
A man explained Inflation to his Wife:When we married,U measured 36-24-36 Now U are 42-42-42 There's more of U But..U R not worth as much.
Two GUYS talking - If I tell you I slept with your wife are we still buddies ?" "Nope!" "Friends?" "Nope!" "Enemies?" "Nope!" "Then what are we?" "EVEN..!""
A man's aim in life shud be 654321 6> Six digit salary 5> Five room house 4> Four wheel vehicle 3> Three weeks holiday 2> Two cute Girlfriends 1> Dumb Wife"
In America,they held a poll on - How many woman want to sleep with Bill Clinton" 4% said- YES 3% said- NO & 93% said OH NOT AGAIN..."
Monday, August 18, 2008
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Bipin's SMS Jokes - Jul 08
Great thougts - V can be doctor & save lives, V can be lawyer & defend lives, V can be soldier & protect lives or. simply be Horny and create lives...
Santa-Kal mene apni wife di yad bhulan vaste sharab di bottle da sahara lita Banta-Te fir ki hoya Santa-Bhenchod lulli bottle wich Fas gai
Ek dr. k clinic k aage lambi line thi. Ek sardar bar-bar line mein ghusta log usko pakad k pichhe phenk dete sardar;lage raho salo main bhi clinic nahin kholounga.
sardar proposed girl wid romantic poetry! Kutta mar gya razai vich Main pagal haan teri judai wich Muh te machar bay ni sakda Sardar tere bin reh ni sakda.
Srdrni:kaha tha na, condom ki jagah rumaal nahi use karna.Ab rumaal andar reh gaya. Srdr:positive THINKING rakhh! bachcha pagdi pehenke aayega
Tragedy of life: 1. Nice women r ugly. 2. Sexy women r not nice. 3. Sexy and nice women r married. 4. Sexy, nice and unmarried women r LESBIANS!! SHIT...
A strapless BIKINI's like a Coalition Govt. While some people marvel at what is holding it up,others wish it wud fall soon & everything would get EXPOSED!
Dr: sex karte waqt tum apne pati ka face dekhti ho? Lady:1 bar dekha tha,wo bahut gusse me they. Dr:Q? Lady:wo muje khidki se dekh rahe the...
Shopkeeper- This sweater's made of pure virgin wool sir. Sardar- You see I am not interested in the morality of the sheep. Just tell me, will it keep me warm?
3 Sardars talking abt Aids 1srdr:Mai to condom k bina karta nahi 2srdr:Mai 2 ungali me bi condom penta hu 3srdr:Mai 2 risk nahi leta Padosi se karwata hu
Sardarni : oye ji, Sunte ho, utho utho, raat ke 2 baje hai. Sardar : kyu uthaya mujhe. Sardarni : Aap nind ki goli Lena to bhul hi gaye.
A husband & wife were not talking to each other, so he left her a note Wake me up at 5 am." In the morning he woke up at 9 & saw a note: "Its 5 am get up!""
Management guru : Give an example of COMPLETE BUSINESS FAILURE DUE TO NEGLIGENCE? STUDENT:A PREGNANT PROSTITUTE..!"
Sardarji was irritated of jokes made on him. He goes to his wife and says Tell me one joke in which i am not involved". Wife:- "I am Pregnant..""
Santa-Kal mene apni wife di yad bhulan vaste sharab di bottle da sahara lita Banta-Te fir ki hoya Santa-Bhenchod lulli bottle wich Fas gai
Ek dr. k clinic k aage lambi line thi. Ek sardar bar-bar line mein ghusta log usko pakad k pichhe phenk dete sardar;lage raho salo main bhi clinic nahin kholounga.
sardar proposed girl wid romantic poetry! Kutta mar gya razai vich Main pagal haan teri judai wich Muh te machar bay ni sakda Sardar tere bin reh ni sakda.
Srdrni:kaha tha na, condom ki jagah rumaal nahi use karna.Ab rumaal andar reh gaya. Srdr:positive THINKING rakhh! bachcha pagdi pehenke aayega
Tragedy of life: 1. Nice women r ugly. 2. Sexy women r not nice. 3. Sexy and nice women r married. 4. Sexy, nice and unmarried women r LESBIANS!! SHIT...
A strapless BIKINI's like a Coalition Govt. While some people marvel at what is holding it up,others wish it wud fall soon & everything would get EXPOSED!
Dr: sex karte waqt tum apne pati ka face dekhti ho? Lady:1 bar dekha tha,wo bahut gusse me they. Dr:Q? Lady:wo muje khidki se dekh rahe the...
Shopkeeper- This sweater's made of pure virgin wool sir. Sardar- You see I am not interested in the morality of the sheep. Just tell me, will it keep me warm?
3 Sardars talking abt Aids 1srdr:Mai to condom k bina karta nahi 2srdr:Mai 2 ungali me bi condom penta hu 3srdr:Mai 2 risk nahi leta Padosi se karwata hu
Sardarni : oye ji, Sunte ho, utho utho, raat ke 2 baje hai. Sardar : kyu uthaya mujhe. Sardarni : Aap nind ki goli Lena to bhul hi gaye.
A husband & wife were not talking to each other, so he left her a note Wake me up at 5 am." In the morning he woke up at 9 & saw a note: "Its 5 am get up!""
Management guru : Give an example of COMPLETE BUSINESS FAILURE DUE TO NEGLIGENCE? STUDENT:A PREGNANT PROSTITUTE..!"
Sardarji was irritated of jokes made on him. He goes to his wife and says Tell me one joke in which i am not involved". Wife:- "I am Pregnant..""
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Selecting an OS for my new laptop.
This was one of the most fun things I endeavoured to do in terms of technology for the last couple of years. My Windows Vista Home Premium which came in bundled with my Acer Laptop was sooo slow, that it seemed like I was using an obsolete piece of equipment. Incidentally, my Acer Travelmate is an AMD Turion X2 64Bit machine with 2 GB DDR2 RAM and 120 GB HDD with Nvidia GO6100 Card. Not cutting edge by any standards but no slouch either. And it seemed slower than my IBM T43 Thinkpad that I have from my office, running XP. I was thinking that I could try Linus for a change and see what advances have happened since the last time I tried to install Red Hat, not too successfully. Will explain that some other time.
So I searched the net and came up with some good ideas to the latest Distros. Did'nt even know what a distro meant then. The ones which seemed to top the charts were common throughout. So I downloaded live CDs for the following. Just to give it a spin on my laptop.
Ubuntu
Xubuntu
openSuse
PCLinuxOS
gOS
Mandriva
Knoppix
Linpus
Freespire
and on my older PC Box:
Xubuntu
Puppy Linux
DSL
My experience was as follows:
Ubuntu
Installation: Installed easily, did'nt need to do much.
Usability: Found it easy to use and access the folders. For a new person it was fairly easy to understand.
What Worked: Sound card was detected, graphics card was installed easily. Connected through cable to my router easily.
What Did'nt: Wifi didn't configure properly. Had a might tough time with installing drivers and getting the wifi to work. But I managed it. Still don't know if it was the ndiswrapper or the FWcutter. But it works just fine now. Sleep/Resume and Hibernate/Resume seems to be buggy. The start/end screens started giving problems such as flickering black, no shutdown text and no shut down screens after I installed the proprietary nVidia video drivers.
Comments: I would highly recommend this one to anybody without a hitch.
My Score: 9/10
Xubuntu
Installation: Installed easily, did'nt need to do much.
Usability: Found it easy to use and access the folders. For a new person it was fairly easy to understand. Was quicker than Ubuntu. One of the fastest distros that I have ever tried.
What Worked: Sound card was detected, graphics card was installed easily. Connected through cable to my router easily.
What Did'nt: Wifi didn't configure properly. Had a might tough time with installing drivers and getting the wifi to work. But I managed it. Could'nt get the wifi working in the 2 hrs I tried.
Comments: I would highly recommend this one to anybody without a hitch. So much documentation was available online but very little for Hardy Heron. But most of them were relevant to all releases.
My Score: 9/10
openSuse (both 32 and 64 bit)
Installation: Installed easily, did'nt need to do much.
Usability: Found it easy to use and access the folders. For a new person it was fairly easy to understand. 32 bit version seemed quicker on my computer than 64 bit. I didn't test it but this is my impression.
What Worked: Sound card was detected, graphics card was installed easily. Connected through cable to my router easily.
What Did'nt: Wifi didn't configure properly. Had a might tough time with installing drivers and getting the wifi to work. But I managed it. Could'nt get the wifi working in the 2 hrs I tried.
Comments: I would recommend to anyone who needs a solid OS. Help was difficult to find.
My Score: 8.5/10
PCLinuxOS
Installation: Installed easily, did'nt need to do much.
Usability: Found it easy to use and access the folders. For a new person it was fairly easy to understand. Layout was very Windows user style friendly, if you know what I mean.
What Worked: Sound card was detected, graphics card was installed easily. Connected through cable to my router easily.
What Did'nt: Wifi didn't configure properly. Had a might tough time with installing drivers and getting the wifi to work. But I managed it. Could'nt get the wifi working in the 2 hrs I tried.
Comments: Seemed like a well rounded package. Didn't catch my attention enough to continue to use it.
My Score: 7.5/10
I will update my experience with the other distros soon.
So I searched the net and came up with some good ideas to the latest Distros. Did'nt even know what a distro meant then. The ones which seemed to top the charts were common throughout. So I downloaded live CDs for the following. Just to give it a spin on my laptop.
Ubuntu
Xubuntu
openSuse
PCLinuxOS
gOS
Mandriva
Knoppix
Linpus
Freespire
and on my older PC Box:
Xubuntu
Puppy Linux
DSL
My experience was as follows:
Ubuntu
Installation: Installed easily, did'nt need to do much.
Usability: Found it easy to use and access the folders. For a new person it was fairly easy to understand.
What Worked: Sound card was detected, graphics card was installed easily. Connected through cable to my router easily.
What Did'nt: Wifi didn't configure properly. Had a might tough time with installing drivers and getting the wifi to work. But I managed it. Still don't know if it was the ndiswrapper or the FWcutter. But it works just fine now. Sleep/Resume and Hibernate/Resume seems to be buggy. The start/end screens started giving problems such as flickering black, no shutdown text and no shut down screens after I installed the proprietary nVidia video drivers.
Comments: I would highly recommend this one to anybody without a hitch.
My Score: 9/10
Xubuntu
Installation: Installed easily, did'nt need to do much.
Usability: Found it easy to use and access the folders. For a new person it was fairly easy to understand. Was quicker than Ubuntu. One of the fastest distros that I have ever tried.
What Worked: Sound card was detected, graphics card was installed easily. Connected through cable to my router easily.
What Did'nt: Wifi didn't configure properly. Had a might tough time with installing drivers and getting the wifi to work. But I managed it. Could'nt get the wifi working in the 2 hrs I tried.
Comments: I would highly recommend this one to anybody without a hitch. So much documentation was available online but very little for Hardy Heron. But most of them were relevant to all releases.
My Score: 9/10
openSuse (both 32 and 64 bit)
Installation: Installed easily, did'nt need to do much.
Usability: Found it easy to use and access the folders. For a new person it was fairly easy to understand. 32 bit version seemed quicker on my computer than 64 bit. I didn't test it but this is my impression.
What Worked: Sound card was detected, graphics card was installed easily. Connected through cable to my router easily.
What Did'nt: Wifi didn't configure properly. Had a might tough time with installing drivers and getting the wifi to work. But I managed it. Could'nt get the wifi working in the 2 hrs I tried.
Comments: I would recommend to anyone who needs a solid OS. Help was difficult to find.
My Score: 8.5/10
PCLinuxOS
Installation: Installed easily, did'nt need to do much.
Usability: Found it easy to use and access the folders. For a new person it was fairly easy to understand. Layout was very Windows user style friendly, if you know what I mean.
What Worked: Sound card was detected, graphics card was installed easily. Connected through cable to my router easily.
What Did'nt: Wifi didn't configure properly. Had a might tough time with installing drivers and getting the wifi to work. But I managed it. Could'nt get the wifi working in the 2 hrs I tried.
Comments: Seemed like a well rounded package. Didn't catch my attention enough to continue to use it.
My Score: 7.5/10
I will update my experience with the other distros soon.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Bipin's SMS Jokes - Jun 08
CAT EXAM QUESTION- A MAD MAN SHUTS THE DOOR & RAPES A GIRL. How do u describe dis event in 3 words? Answer- Nut bolts and screws!!
A sardar saw a beautiful girl. He went and kissed her....... Girl said:Wat are u doing? Sardar:B.Com from khalsa college,Chandigarh!!!
ONLY 10% men have brains..Rest have wives!
HUSBAND AND WIFE ARE WATCHING A BOXING MATCH. HUSBAND SAYS, HOW DISGUSTING, IT WAS ALL OVER IN FOUR MINUTES FLAT. WIFE SAYS, NOW YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL!""
Why are condoms transparent? So that sperms can atleast enjoy the scene, even if their entry is restricted. Ha ha ha
Suhaagraat par dulhe ne dulhan ko 'Munh Dikhaae' ke 1 lakh rupaye diye to dulhan hairaan ho kar boli, ya allah......... kitne aadmi hain ?" <$>"
Sardar make a call 2 airport. Asked How long is d journey from Punjab 2 America?"
Receptionist: 1 secnd sir. Sardar Disconects N Says Sali Pi Ke bethi Hai..."
Bete ne Baap ko Viagra di. Baap-ye kya? Beta-Achi lage to mere takiye k niche 100/- rakh dena. subah 600/-mile. Bap-Maine 100 hi rakhe the,500 teri ma ne diye.
Husband apne sasural me biwi se- chalo aaj sex karte hai, biwi- nahi ye papa ka ghar hai, husband- to behan ki lodi mere baap ka ghar kya randi khana hai.!
What is the similarity between men n clouds? Sooner or later they both fuck off n ITS A BEAUTIFUL DAY AGAIN.
What is HEAVEN ? -Thousands of girls & barrels of beer. What is HELL ? -When you come to know that the barrels have holes & the girls don't.
Wife hinting husband 4 a new MERC 500SEL 4 her bday,says: Dear buy me something dat goes 0 to 100 in 4 seconds''? Husband gifted her a Weighing Scale."
A black baby was given wings by God. He asked God, Does this mean Iam an angel now? God laughed and said, Nigga please, . . . You are a bat!!
If adam and eve were chinese, v would still b in paradise! Guess y? Bcoz they would have ignored the apple And eaten the snake
Responses during sex_a) GIRLFRIEND - Wow darling, this is gr8...b) PROSTITUTE - Come on.. finish it now..c) WIFE - I thik d ceiling needs painting
A sardar saw a beautiful girl. He went and kissed her....... Girl said:Wat are u doing? Sardar:B.Com from khalsa college,Chandigarh!!!
ONLY 10% men have brains..Rest have wives!
HUSBAND AND WIFE ARE WATCHING A BOXING MATCH. HUSBAND SAYS, HOW DISGUSTING, IT WAS ALL OVER IN FOUR MINUTES FLAT. WIFE SAYS, NOW YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL!""
Why are condoms transparent? So that sperms can atleast enjoy the scene, even if their entry is restricted. Ha ha ha
Suhaagraat par dulhe ne dulhan ko 'Munh Dikhaae' ke 1 lakh rupaye diye to dulhan hairaan ho kar boli, ya allah......... kitne aadmi hain ?" <$>"
Sardar make a call 2 airport. Asked How long is d journey from Punjab 2 America?"
Receptionist: 1 secnd sir. Sardar Disconects N Says Sali Pi Ke bethi Hai..."
Bete ne Baap ko Viagra di. Baap-ye kya? Beta-Achi lage to mere takiye k niche 100/- rakh dena. subah 600/-mile. Bap-Maine 100 hi rakhe the,500 teri ma ne diye.
Husband apne sasural me biwi se- chalo aaj sex karte hai, biwi- nahi ye papa ka ghar hai, husband- to behan ki lodi mere baap ka ghar kya randi khana hai.!
What is the similarity between men n clouds? Sooner or later they both fuck off n ITS A BEAUTIFUL DAY AGAIN.
What is HEAVEN ? -Thousands of girls & barrels of beer. What is HELL ? -When you come to know that the barrels have holes & the girls don't.
Wife hinting husband 4 a new MERC 500SEL 4 her bday,says: Dear buy me something dat goes 0 to 100 in 4 seconds''? Husband gifted her a Weighing Scale."
A black baby was given wings by God. He asked God, Does this mean Iam an angel now? God laughed and said, Nigga please, . . . You are a bat!!
If adam and eve were chinese, v would still b in paradise! Guess y? Bcoz they would have ignored the apple And eaten the snake
Responses during sex_a) GIRLFRIEND - Wow darling, this is gr8...b) PROSTITUTE - Come on.. finish it now..c) WIFE - I thik d ceiling needs painting
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Bipin's SMS Jokes
SARDAR-roz roz palak ki sabzi khake tang aa gaya hu . SARDARNI- palak mein iron hota hai, SARDAR- to kya meri gand me se sariya nikal ke hi dam legi..
The month of May is United Nations Breast Awareness Month. We are already 'aware' because we stare. We Stare because 'We Care'. Have a nice day:-D
Sardar ji apko garmi lagi to kya karenge ? Sardar: Cooler ke aage baith jaunga. Phir bhi garmi lage to ? Sardar cooler on kar lunga...
Ek Raat Bijli Chali Gayi. Sardar :Oye, kam se kam Fan to Chalao. Sardarani:Kar Di Na Sardaro wali Baat Fan On Karenge to Candle Nai Bujh Jayegi?
Santa to hotel manager: jaldi chalo meri biwi khidki se jaan dena chahti hai. Manager: what can i do? santa: abe kamine, khidki nahi khul rahi..
Why did Jesus never have sex? Because every time he touched a cut, it healed..
A hangover is nothing but revenge of the grapes.First we hold them by their balls and squeeze out their brains.Then they do the same....
Like IPL if there was an ISL (Indian Sex league) then what would be the name of the teams.............? 1)Hydrabad Hardcore Humpers 2)Chennai Superdicks 3)Kolkata Nightfuckers 4)Rajastan Pussies 5)Punjab Rammers XI 6)Mumbai Lesbians 7)Delhi Daredrillers 8)Banglore Royal Strippers
An old couple at a candle-light dinner. Wife, It's so romantic I can feel the warmth in my breasts!" Husband "Of course you can they are hanging in ur soup !""
Santa ki shaadi ek Nurse se ho gayi. Banta: Aur sunao Santa, kaisi nibha rahi hai? Santa: Pooch mat yaar, jab tak Sister na kaho, bolti hi nahin.
3 Ladies saw a Dog scruwing Bitch Violntly. Doc Wife: Wow! they r enjoing Life Lawrs Wf: No its Rape ! ArmyOffcr wf: Lagta hai Kutta Vacation pe Ghar aya hai..
Wife to naked husband : 'Why r u walking around naked ?D neighbours can c ur thing!' Husband : So what ? Wife: 'They'll think.. i married u only4 ur money.'
This is one of d best msg that i have ever come across... Life is beautiful* * Conditions apply......
AIDS Awareness Slogans Cover-Ur-Stump B4 U Pump" "Dont-B-Silly! Protect Ur Lully" "Dont-B-A-Fool Condomize Ur Tool"!! Fwd 2 all Careless Fuckerz."
Santa Undergone English Speaking Course. 1 Day He Went To Shopkeeper N Said-'Plz Giv Me Sum Broken Money To Climb On Gurudwara. . . . . . . . . . . .
When you touch & feel,its DESIRE. When you don't touch & still feel,its LOVE. When u touch & don't feel, then its PARALYSIS final stage.
Santa was pissing when girl saw his huge penis & said naughtilyWow I would like2hv that.Santa:Go n get a glass quickly Im about To finish!"
Santa roz wife ko sex k waqt kehta : Or Tight kar ! Achhe se Tight kar.! Wife : ek din gusse se.! Bahar jaa ke ganne ke juice ki machine me dal le.
Lambi Umar ke liye kya karna chahiye ? Ans = Shaadi . Us se kya Zindagi Lambi ho jati hai ? Ans = Nahi Lambi lagne lagti hai....!
Worried mother gives her daughter a pack of condoms b4 a hot date. Girl laughs nd hugs her mother-Times have changed Mum. I'm Dating Reena. Give me candles !!""
Q. Why was the maths lady teacher depressed after she married a Prince? A. She realized not every ruler has 12 inches....!!
A Nun 2 Mother Superior: I hav been raped.Mother: Take A Pinch Of Chillies Nun:Wil It Tk Care Of Evrythin? Motherr:NO, BT IT WIL TAKE D FUCKING SMILE OFF UR FACE""
Doctor:How can u say that ur wife has 2 holes in her ass? Santa: whenever i and banta go 2 party with her, people say here comes preeto with 2 ass-holes !!
The month of May is United Nations Breast Awareness Month. We are already 'aware' because we stare. We Stare because 'We Care'. Have a nice day:-D
Sardar ji apko garmi lagi to kya karenge ? Sardar: Cooler ke aage baith jaunga. Phir bhi garmi lage to ? Sardar cooler on kar lunga...
Ek Raat Bijli Chali Gayi. Sardar :Oye, kam se kam Fan to Chalao. Sardarani:Kar Di Na Sardaro wali Baat Fan On Karenge to Candle Nai Bujh Jayegi?
Santa to hotel manager: jaldi chalo meri biwi khidki se jaan dena chahti hai. Manager: what can i do? santa: abe kamine, khidki nahi khul rahi..
Why did Jesus never have sex? Because every time he touched a cut, it healed..
A hangover is nothing but revenge of the grapes.First we hold them by their balls and squeeze out their brains.Then they do the same....
Like IPL if there was an ISL (Indian Sex league) then what would be the name of the teams.............? 1)Hydrabad Hardcore Humpers 2)Chennai Superdicks 3)Kolkata Nightfuckers 4)Rajastan Pussies 5)Punjab Rammers XI 6)Mumbai Lesbians 7)Delhi Daredrillers 8)Banglore Royal Strippers
An old couple at a candle-light dinner. Wife, It's so romantic I can feel the warmth in my breasts!" Husband "Of course you can they are hanging in ur soup !""
Santa ki shaadi ek Nurse se ho gayi. Banta: Aur sunao Santa, kaisi nibha rahi hai? Santa: Pooch mat yaar, jab tak Sister na kaho, bolti hi nahin.
3 Ladies saw a Dog scruwing Bitch Violntly. Doc Wife: Wow! they r enjoing Life Lawrs Wf: No its Rape ! ArmyOffcr wf: Lagta hai Kutta Vacation pe Ghar aya hai..
Wife to naked husband : 'Why r u walking around naked ?D neighbours can c ur thing!' Husband : So what ? Wife: 'They'll think.. i married u only4 ur money.'
This is one of d best msg that i have ever come across... Life is beautiful* * Conditions apply......
AIDS Awareness Slogans Cover-Ur-Stump B4 U Pump" "Dont-B-Silly! Protect Ur Lully" "Dont-B-A-Fool Condomize Ur Tool"!! Fwd 2 all Careless Fuckerz."
Santa Undergone English Speaking Course. 1 Day He Went To Shopkeeper N Said-'Plz Giv Me Sum Broken Money To Climb On Gurudwara. . . . . . . . . . . .
When you touch & feel,its DESIRE. When you don't touch & still feel,its LOVE. When u touch & don't feel, then its PARALYSIS final stage.
Santa was pissing when girl saw his huge penis & said naughtilyWow I would like2hv that.Santa:Go n get a glass quickly Im about To finish!"
Santa roz wife ko sex k waqt kehta : Or Tight kar ! Achhe se Tight kar.! Wife : ek din gusse se.! Bahar jaa ke ganne ke juice ki machine me dal le.
Lambi Umar ke liye kya karna chahiye ? Ans = Shaadi . Us se kya Zindagi Lambi ho jati hai ? Ans = Nahi Lambi lagne lagti hai....!
Worried mother gives her daughter a pack of condoms b4 a hot date. Girl laughs nd hugs her mother-Times have changed Mum. I'm Dating Reena. Give me candles !!""
Q. Why was the maths lady teacher depressed after she married a Prince? A. She realized not every ruler has 12 inches....!!
A Nun 2 Mother Superior: I hav been raped.Mother: Take A Pinch Of Chillies Nun:Wil It Tk Care Of Evrythin? Motherr:NO, BT IT WIL TAKE D FUCKING SMILE OFF UR FACE""
Doctor:How can u say that ur wife has 2 holes in her ass? Santa: whenever i and banta go 2 party with her, people say here comes preeto with 2 ass-holes !!
Friday, May 2, 2008
Delhi vs Banglore IPL Match at Feroz Shah Kotla
This being the first season of IPL, my loyalty lies with my home team for lack of a choice of which team I should support. It stands as Delhi Daredevils as of now. Got myself the Daredevils T-shirt and all. So when Ridhima managed to arrange a few tickets for me to watch my team in an IPL match in Delhi. Of course I was excited. So I land up in office, gather a coupleof my colleagues who are IPL fans and we take the day off to go and watch the match. Three hours and a few beers later we finally make it to the stadium. It takes us just 10 minutes from the time we get off the car till our seats. To my surprise the guys at the entry gates were quite efficient. The atmosphere inside was electric; with the bustle of the crowd, the awesome floodlights, the loud music and the thought of watching some exciting cricket. Ten minutes to the start and the stadium was 90% occupied. Well it didn't take long for it to be fully occupied.
Where here we were; Kapil, Dharmendra and I at the stadium. Didn't take time for the match to start. Seats seemed just fine, right behind the dug out. I was starting to get hungry now. So I asked the food vendor to get me a burger and something to drink. Cost me 55 bucks. Not exorbitantly expensive as I had imagined. Actually it was quite reasonably priced. Anyway, the match started in the next 10 minutes, the stadium was packed by then. Won't describe the match as that would seem more like a commentary.
Have you ever noticed how the players seem really big and iconic when in the field. These guys seemed bigger and more charismatic in real life than they ever looked on TV. And by what it seemed live. Twenty20 cricket ir really high energy cricket. Seemed like the ball was zipping by all over the place. No wonder some of the veterans of cricket are a bit wary of it. But I guess this is the real cricket for the masses. Not the imperialistic version of the game like a 5 day match, or pure cricket as they call it. That was meant for rich imperialists and aristocrats who had nothing to do and could easily afford to play away for 5 days at a stretch. Poorer people like us can hardly afford to watch a complete ODI much less a 5 day Test Match. Poorer people like me can relate more to a Twenty20 scenario. I have grown up playing 20 over matches. We never had the time, place or the finances to arrange for anything more than that. Can you imagine a majority of the population playing ODIs in Delhi lawns and park. Its practically impossible for 99.99% of the Indian population to play anything even close to the 50 over ODI format of the game. And the 20 over format is the most played and they still say that its not the purest format. Who for? People like me and the general public, or for aristocrats and for filthy rich individuals? For people who think this is not pure cricket. I suggest you revisit your views. Twenty20 was the game played by the Indian children, and will be the future of cricket, THE REAL CRICKET. Unadultrated by imperialist pursuits.
Anyway, the things that I observed were wierd. There were a few teenage boys sitting right infront of us. Seemed like they had come to a disco rather than a cricket match. Anyway these people were standing most of the time. Blocked our view for most of the match and if they did sit down for a few seconds they would stand up as soon as the bowler started his runup. Wonder why, coz the view didn't change much if we were standing or sitting. Though they did block our view if they were standing. Anyway these guys didn't see much of the match. They didn't seem very interested in cricket in anyway. Their heads were always at the direction of the pavilion nearby, trying to catch a glimpse of Katrina Kaif. If you want to see film stars go to one of the film function. Please leave cricket to the sports fans.
If you see the fence right behing Dharma and Kapil, it seemed to be magnetic. The pacemen would be dashing up to bowl and all of a suddem most of the people in the stand would just stop seeing the criket but just one WHOOP! and everyone was stuck to this magnetic fence as if they came flying into it. Much like a fly trap. Any glimpse of Katrina or Akshay Kumar and this would happen and then slowly they would dissipate only to come flying back as soom as anyone got a glimpse of the film stars. Weird!
Halfway into the second innings, we were exhausted of the high energy crowds interested in the film stars only, people standing in your face as soon as a ball was to be bowled, very loud music and shit loads of dust and grime flying all the time. At the end of it all we were at Nizamuddin by 11:00 PM just in time to catch the last few overs of the match on TV and dinner. Quite an experience. Incidentally, this was the first time I have ever gone to watch a live match.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Bipin's SMS Jokes
Friend:How's ur sex life? Man:As usual,Monday to Friday. Friend:What about the weekends? Man:Weekends ? Oh !That time I'm at home,relaxing with my wife !
Girl-xcuse me brother, that's my seat. boy-ok, but i'm not ur brother. my dad never touch ur mom. Girl-true,but my father did. So dont be over smart..
Sardar 2 his Wife: My frend told me dat he has fuckd every woman in our buildng excpt one. Wife:"It must be Poonam on 4th floor. She is very traditional.!"
A guy in a rush uses the ladies loo in a posh hotel. He sits down and notices 4 buttons- WW, WA, PP & ATR. Curious, he presses WW and is gently sprayed with warm water, then WA & a blast of warm air dries him. PP, a powder puff which left him smelling fresh. Feeling pampered he presses ATR...... He wakes up in the hospital & a nurse says ATR meant Automatic Tampon Remover. Ur cock & balls are in this jar in case u want to take them home.""
Aftr 10 yrs married couple in bed: She feels his hand rubbing her shoulder. She:0h!dat feels gud. hand moves 2 her breast. She:Honey,dats wonderful. hanAftr 10 yrs married couple in bed: She feels his hand rubbing her shoulder. She:0h!dat feels gud. hand moves 2 her breast.
She:Honey,dats wonderful. hand moves 2 her leg. She:0h honey dnt stop. He stops. She:Why did u stop? He: Coz I found d remote!
Santa- Yaar teri aur bhabhi ki jodi toh Ram Sita ki jodi hai. Banta- Kahan yaar, na to yeh dharti mey samati hai aur na hi issey koi utha ley jata hai
Sardar to Doc:When I was 25, I needed 2 HANDS 2 push down my erection,at 35 one HAND,at 50, 3 FINGERS,at 60, 2,now at 70 just 1,Doc, am I getting stronger?
Toofani Barish Me Santa PIZZA Lene Gaya Shopkeeper: Aap Shadishuda Ho. ?? Santa: Kamine Is Tufani Barish Me Kya Meri Maa Mujhe Bhejti?
An old man married a Young Girl.On Suhagraat,he show 5 fingers to the Girl.She said-Ooh Darling 5 times..?" Old Man replies-"No dear choose any One and use"."
Girl after having sex with 4 Boys in Hostel I should go, I m getting late Boys:Kuch der aur ruk jao Girl:Aur nahi ruk sakti, Papa Bina wajah shak karte hai
3Womn in Gym.A MAN runs NAKED coverng his FACE.Luking btwn his LEGS 1st-He's NOT my HUSB. 2-He's certainly NT ur HUSB. 3-Wait!HE's NoT evn a Member of dis CLUB!
Guy in lov with Girl asked her for S.E.X.. Girl:Apne bahut badi cheez mangi hai..." Boy: "Agar itni badi hai toh rahene do..."
Santa screws pros in hotel, goes under bed,comes out from other side, screws her again. Repeats it 5 times. Impressed pros luks under d bed n finds 5 sardars.
Boy: Mere saath Sex kaisa laga? Girl: Chief Guest jaisa.. Boy: Such mein.. kaise.? Girl: Tum jaldi mein aye aur function khatam hone se pehle hi chale gaye !
Virgins indulge in Sex for Curiosity- Prostitutes for Money- Widows for Remembering Old Days- Wives for Duty- So, Pure Sex is Possible Only in - - * ADULTERY *
Bungee jumping is like getting a blowjob from an old woman- it feels great but for christs sake , dont look down !
Test ur IQ: Poisonous BRA: CoBra Mathemetical BRA: AlgeBra Striped BRA: ZeBra Strongest BRA: VerteBra Sun-sign BRA: LiBra And u thought u knew all about bra.
Wife:Now my hubby is 300% impotent !" Doc:"How 300%?!" Wife:"U know about the 100%.. Now the bastard has broken his Finger.. & burnt his Tongue too !"
Girl-xcuse me brother, that's my seat. boy-ok, but i'm not ur brother. my dad never touch ur mom. Girl-true,but my father did. So dont be over smart..
Sardar 2 his Wife: My frend told me dat he has fuckd every woman in our buildng excpt one. Wife:"It must be Poonam on 4th floor. She is very traditional.!"
A guy in a rush uses the ladies loo in a posh hotel. He sits down and notices 4 buttons- WW, WA, PP & ATR. Curious, he presses WW and is gently sprayed with warm water, then WA & a blast of warm air dries him. PP, a powder puff which left him smelling fresh. Feeling pampered he presses ATR...... He wakes up in the hospital & a nurse says ATR meant Automatic Tampon Remover. Ur cock & balls are in this jar in case u want to take them home.""
Aftr 10 yrs married couple in bed: She feels his hand rubbing her shoulder. She:0h!dat feels gud. hand moves 2 her breast. She:Honey,dats wonderful. hanAftr 10 yrs married couple in bed: She feels his hand rubbing her shoulder. She:0h!dat feels gud. hand moves 2 her breast.
She:Honey,dats wonderful. hand moves 2 her leg. She:0h honey dnt stop. He stops. She:Why did u stop? He: Coz I found d remote!
Santa- Yaar teri aur bhabhi ki jodi toh Ram Sita ki jodi hai. Banta- Kahan yaar, na to yeh dharti mey samati hai aur na hi issey koi utha ley jata hai
Sardar to Doc:When I was 25, I needed 2 HANDS 2 push down my erection,at 35 one HAND,at 50, 3 FINGERS,at 60, 2,now at 70 just 1,Doc, am I getting stronger?
Toofani Barish Me Santa PIZZA Lene Gaya Shopkeeper: Aap Shadishuda Ho. ?? Santa: Kamine Is Tufani Barish Me Kya Meri Maa Mujhe Bhejti?
An old man married a Young Girl.On Suhagraat,he show 5 fingers to the Girl.She said-Ooh Darling 5 times..?" Old Man replies-"No dear choose any One and use"."
Girl after having sex with 4 Boys in Hostel I should go, I m getting late Boys:Kuch der aur ruk jao Girl:Aur nahi ruk sakti, Papa Bina wajah shak karte hai
3Womn in Gym.A MAN runs NAKED coverng his FACE.Luking btwn his LEGS 1st-He's NOT my HUSB. 2-He's certainly NT ur HUSB. 3-Wait!HE's NoT evn a Member of dis CLUB!
Guy in lov with Girl asked her for S.E.X.. Girl:Apne bahut badi cheez mangi hai..." Boy: "Agar itni badi hai toh rahene do..."
Santa screws pros in hotel, goes under bed,comes out from other side, screws her again. Repeats it 5 times. Impressed pros luks under d bed n finds 5 sardars.
Boy: Mere saath Sex kaisa laga? Girl: Chief Guest jaisa.. Boy: Such mein.. kaise.? Girl: Tum jaldi mein aye aur function khatam hone se pehle hi chale gaye !
Virgins indulge in Sex for Curiosity- Prostitutes for Money- Widows for Remembering Old Days- Wives for Duty- So, Pure Sex is Possible Only in - - * ADULTERY *
Bungee jumping is like getting a blowjob from an old woman- it feels great but for christs sake , dont look down !
Test ur IQ: Poisonous BRA: CoBra Mathemetical BRA: AlgeBra Striped BRA: ZeBra Strongest BRA: VerteBra Sun-sign BRA: LiBra And u thought u knew all about bra.
Wife:Now my hubby is 300% impotent !" Doc:"How 300%?!" Wife:"U know about the 100%.. Now the bastard has broken his Finger.. & burnt his Tongue too !"
Friday, March 28, 2008
Bipin's SMS Jokes
TEACHER class me apne BABY ko dudh pilate hue boli. OLE ALE-ALE MELA BETA dudh p k Doctr banega. Santa-madam thoda hme bhi pila do,hum campounder hi bn jayenge.
Define true music lover? Ans: a girl is singing in a bathroom while taking bath and a boy near the keyhole is using his ears and not his eyes!!!
Girl: Hw do u get a baby? Mom: Wn Papa puts his thing between my legs. Girl: But last night I saw him put it in ur mouth. Mom: Oh,that's how I get my jewellery.
A famous quote: A fool can ask more questions than a wise man can answer.". No wonder so many HUSBAND'S are speechless in front of their WIVES !!"
Sardar 2 his Wife: My frend told me dat he has fuckd every woman in our buildng excpt one. Wife:"It must be Poonam on 4th floor. She is very traditional.!"
Just a thought: Whats the difference between your Wife and your Girlfriend? Nothing! Both will screw your happiness and still you'll ask for more.
Sardarni walking on road with her top open, & right BOOB hanging out. Cop asks her: What is this? Sardarni realises: Hai rabba! Munna BUS me hi reh gaya..
Ek ladki bina sex karay sardar se paise le ke bhag gayi. Sardar ne paper me ad diya: ek ladki kad 5'3'', Rang-Gora,Naam- SALMAA, jise mile chod le! Prepaid hai.
She Offered him Honour He Honoured her Offer And then....the whole night, in Honour of her Offer, he was Onher & Offher. . !
Q. Why do women have foreheads? A. So men have a place to kiss them after a blowjob.
Shashi to big b- mere paas bangla bank balance gaadi hai, big b to shashi- mere pass bhi bank balance bangla hai aur gaadi hai, shashi - toh phir maa kiske paas hai?
Once dere was a mirror dat killed any1 who lied FRENCH: I think I dont smoke, (died) AMERICAN: I think I love my wife, (died) SARDAR: I think.. (died)
JOK:Q: What is a wedding tragedy? A: To marry a man for love, and then find out he has no money.
Sardarji's Son: Dad, I just had sex for d 1st time! Dad says congrats, getting 2 beers out of fridge, any question son? Son: Yeah, how long will my ass pain.???
Doc ne Santa k 1 Goti nikali aur Onion fit kiya, after 1 Month Doc: koi taklif ? Santa:mutate waqt aankhe jalti hai, lekin Biwi ko fits aani band ho gaye hai.
Banta to wife : It is shame but let me confess I have become HOMOSEXUAL. Wife: How come? Banta: I have Sex at HOME only! Wife:Thank god I am not.
Long ago, A person who sacrificed his sleep, his family, his food, his laughter.. were called saints! But now they r called 'husbands.!'
First Guy (proudly): My wife's an angel!" Second Guy: "You're lucky mine's still alive.""
Famous Chinese wisdom for men : Always marry a woman with tiny hands, it makes your tiny little cock look bigger...! :-)
After intense sex RAJPUT said to lady : Mazo koni aayo thari koi breast koni tharo hole bhi chhoto hai" Lady : "Banna ji manne sidho to karlo....""
Man:Can I have sex with my pregnant wife?Dr: 3 mths normal style,Next 3 dog style & Last 3 wolf style.Man:How do wolves do it?Dr:Sleep near the hole & howl!
Jinn:Hukm aka? Man:Gharse dubai tak road banao. Jinn:Mushkil hai,aur koi kam? Man:Wife ko agyakari aur samajdar banao. Jinn:Road single banani hai ya double?
Holi mubarak aur bhagwan aapki pichkari ka pressure banaye rakhe
Sardar having a rash on his dick goes to the doctor... Doctor: Does it burn ??? Sardar: I don't know ... Never tried to light it ...
SOMETIMES When U cry, No one sees ur tears. When ur worried no one sees ur pain. When ur happy no one sees ur smile. Try farting, n c the attention u get
A Couple was sitng in Grden,Sudnly a Dog n Bitch start Kissing each othr Boy-Janu agar Tum Bura n Mano to Mein bhi? Grl-Ok par Smbhalkar Kutiya kaat na le.
Just got a great health tip !! There's no reason to fear menopause.. It's the eggs that expire.. Not the hen !!
Question: why do marawadis watch xxx movies in rewind mode? Answr:they get excited when they see the prostitutes returning the money.
Why does 'doggy style' become so popular among couples after 8 - 10 yrs of marriage ?Simply because,when they are at it,she can read her book & he can watch tv.
Define true music lover? Ans: a girl is singing in a bathroom while taking bath and a boy near the keyhole is using his ears and not his eyes!!!
Girl: Hw do u get a baby? Mom: Wn Papa puts his thing between my legs. Girl: But last night I saw him put it in ur mouth. Mom: Oh,that's how I get my jewellery.
A famous quote: A fool can ask more questions than a wise man can answer.". No wonder so many HUSBAND'S are speechless in front of their WIVES !!"
Sardar 2 his Wife: My frend told me dat he has fuckd every woman in our buildng excpt one. Wife:"It must be Poonam on 4th floor. She is very traditional.!"
Just a thought: Whats the difference between your Wife and your Girlfriend? Nothing! Both will screw your happiness and still you'll ask for more.
Sardarni walking on road with her top open, & right BOOB hanging out. Cop asks her: What is this? Sardarni realises: Hai rabba! Munna BUS me hi reh gaya..
Ek ladki bina sex karay sardar se paise le ke bhag gayi. Sardar ne paper me ad diya: ek ladki kad 5'3'', Rang-Gora,Naam- SALMAA, jise mile chod le! Prepaid hai.
She Offered him Honour He Honoured her Offer And then....the whole night, in Honour of her Offer, he was Onher & Offher. . !
Q. Why do women have foreheads? A. So men have a place to kiss them after a blowjob.
Shashi to big b- mere paas bangla bank balance gaadi hai, big b to shashi- mere pass bhi bank balance bangla hai aur gaadi hai, shashi - toh phir maa kiske paas hai?
Once dere was a mirror dat killed any1 who lied FRENCH: I think I dont smoke, (died) AMERICAN: I think I love my wife, (died) SARDAR: I think.. (died)
JOK:Q: What is a wedding tragedy? A: To marry a man for love, and then find out he has no money.
Sardarji's Son: Dad, I just had sex for d 1st time! Dad says congrats, getting 2 beers out of fridge, any question son? Son: Yeah, how long will my ass pain.???
Doc ne Santa k 1 Goti nikali aur Onion fit kiya, after 1 Month Doc: koi taklif ? Santa:mutate waqt aankhe jalti hai, lekin Biwi ko fits aani band ho gaye hai.
Banta to wife : It is shame but let me confess I have become HOMOSEXUAL. Wife: How come? Banta: I have Sex at HOME only! Wife:Thank god I am not.
Long ago, A person who sacrificed his sleep, his family, his food, his laughter.. were called saints! But now they r called 'husbands.!'
First Guy (proudly): My wife's an angel!" Second Guy: "You're lucky mine's still alive.""
Famous Chinese wisdom for men : Always marry a woman with tiny hands, it makes your tiny little cock look bigger...! :-)
After intense sex RAJPUT said to lady : Mazo koni aayo thari koi breast koni tharo hole bhi chhoto hai" Lady : "Banna ji manne sidho to karlo....""
Man:Can I have sex with my pregnant wife?Dr: 3 mths normal style,Next 3 dog style & Last 3 wolf style.Man:How do wolves do it?Dr:Sleep near the hole & howl!
Jinn:Hukm aka? Man:Gharse dubai tak road banao. Jinn:Mushkil hai,aur koi kam? Man:Wife ko agyakari aur samajdar banao. Jinn:Road single banani hai ya double?
Holi mubarak aur bhagwan aapki pichkari ka pressure banaye rakhe
Sardar having a rash on his dick goes to the doctor... Doctor: Does it burn ??? Sardar: I don't know ... Never tried to light it ...
SOMETIMES When U cry, No one sees ur tears. When ur worried no one sees ur pain. When ur happy no one sees ur smile. Try farting, n c the attention u get
A Couple was sitng in Grden,Sudnly a Dog n Bitch start Kissing each othr Boy-Janu agar Tum Bura n Mano to Mein bhi? Grl-Ok par Smbhalkar Kutiya kaat na le.
Just got a great health tip !! There's no reason to fear menopause.. It's the eggs that expire.. Not the hen !!
Question: why do marawadis watch xxx movies in rewind mode? Answr:they get excited when they see the prostitutes returning the money.
Why does 'doggy style' become so popular among couples after 8 - 10 yrs of marriage ?Simply because,when they are at it,she can read her book & he can watch tv.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Bipin's SMS Jokes
During war a soldier sees 2 nuns on enemy side & says I wnt revenge & removs pants. Young nun requests PL SPARE OLDER NUN. Older nun: SHUT UP Bitch,WAR IS WAR
Mobile ko kabhi peechey ki pocket mai mat rakhna, battary fategi to Bund fatt jayegi, log haath se bund dhote hein or aap Bund se hath dho Baithogey @@@.
GRAMMAR TEACHER: PRAKASH BEER NAHI PEETA HAI". IS SENTENCE MEIN PRAKASH KYA HAI? STUDENT: MADAM PRAKASH CHUTIYA HAI."
Latest blockbuster movie SAARE ZAMEEN PAR" premier on BSE and NSE directed produced & acted by Ambani brothers. P0wer 0n Current Gone!"
GRAMMAR TEACHER: RAMESH BEER NAHI PEETA HAI". IS SENTENCE MEIN RAMESH KYA HAI? STUDENT: MADAM RAMESH CHUTIYA HAI."
Latest blockbuster movie SAARE ZAMEEN PAR" premier on BSE and NSE directed produced & acted by Ambani brothers. P0wer 0n Current Gone!"
Sardar: will u marry me? Girl: sorry im a lesbian... Sardar: wats a lesbian? Girl: I like 2 have sex only with girls... Sardar: De taali.. even im a lesbian.
I had vodka wid water.. I felt drunk.. I had whiskey n water.. I felt drunk.. I had rum n water.. I felt drunk.. I swear I wont drink water again...
Girl enters a sex shop,asks-Where are th vibrators? CLERK:Over there mam.Girl:How much for this big red one? CLERK:Sorry madam,that is a fire extinguisher
Utho aalsiyon or desh ka kuch bhala karo.. . . . . . . . . Achcha aap ho kya? sorry sorry aap to wapas so jao.usi me desh ka bhala hai :-) good morning.
Self motivation and a commitment to excel are key traits to success. Never let yesterday's regrets overshadow tomorrow's dreams. Have a great day.:-)
Santa became soldier. His Major said:Santa we are surrounded from all sides by enemies" Santa :"Excellent Sir! We can attack in any direction"."
Bus chali, Jhatka laga, 1 sardar1 ladki pe ja gira,Ladki boli:battmeej kya kar rhe ho. Sardar bola:Ji punjab UNIVERSITY se B.Com.Kar raha hu.
Two Gay Men talking: 1st: Hi sexy. Wanna have sex? 2nd: Sure. Your place or mine? 1st: YOURS! Mine is sore.. :)
Santa: What is ur opinion about women ? Banta:They all are sex objects. Santa: How come? Banta:Whenever I want to have sex, they object...!!
Working Towards Success You Will Become Master Of It, But, Working Towards Satisfaction Makes You A Legend Of It. Good morning n Have A Great Day.
Baari Barsi khattan gya c, khatt k leyandi Hello.. Je sms nai karne taan.... mobile CHITRAAN ch lai lo....
Man to his wife on her Birthday..you can have sex for 1 hour the way u want. Wife jumps kisses him & runs out saying..I'll be back in an hour
* Santa in Bangkok 2a Prost- Hw much For a Hand Job ? Prost- 500 Do U Won it ? Snta- No, I Wanted to know, Hw much I'L b Saving by doing my self. . .
Besides many reasons such as hygiene, social & erotic, there is one more interesting reason for being circumcised... Women GRAB anything with 20% off ...!
Foren return Santa to wife- main New Zealand vich mundayan nal BUNGEE jumping khoob enjoy kiti. Wife-main v pind vich mundya nal MANJI jumping khub enjoy kiti..
Laugh so hard tat even sorrow smiles at u! Live life so well tat even death loves to see u live! Fight so hard tat even fate accepts its defeat.Gudmorn :-)
Woman sitting on a park bench. Beggar: Hi darling..! Lets have some fun.. Woman angrily : How dare U! Beggar: Then What r U doing on my BED??
A SARDAR USED TO GO TO COLLEGE ALONG WITH HIS DOG A FEW YEARS LATER SARDAR GOES TO THE COLLEGE ALONE BECAUSE DOG HAD GRADUATED
Santa became soldier. His Major said:Santa we are surrounded from all sides by enemies" Santa :"Excellent Sir! We can attack in any direction"."
2 NURSES discuss their FIRST NIGHT. 1st: First WE did MOUTH to MOUTH RESPIRATION, then CARDIAC MASSAGE then CATHETERISATION. & U? 2nd: Oh! I just had an ENEMA!.
A woman to doctor my hub is never intrsd in sex". Doc-take these pills one for a day".At home she puts 1 pill in his tea and they had sex tht night next"
Gabbar:Kitne Admi the. Sambha:Srdar 2 Gb:Mujhe ginti nahi ati, 2 kitne hote hai? Smb:Srdar 2 1 ke bad ata hai. Gab:Or 2 k pehle? Smb:2 k pehle 1 ata hai. Gabbr:To beech me kon ata hai?
Samb:Bichme koi nahi ata. Gab:To fir Dono ek sath Q nahi ate? Smb:2 1 k bad hi a skta he, Qki 2 1 se bada hai. Gab:2 1 se Kitna bada hai? Samb:2 1 se 1 bada hai? Gab:agar 2 1 se 1 bada he to ek 1 se kitna bada hai? Smb:Srdar,mene apka namak khaya he.Muje Goli mardo
Wife: I went 2 the doc. 2day & he said I hv breasts of a 25 yr old." Husband: "What did he say about the 50 yr old ass?" Wife: "We didnt talk about u. at all.""
Shadi me santa bahut der se khana kha raha tha. Dusre ne pucha kab tak khaoge? Santa: main to khud kha kha ke dukhi hu par card me likha tha LUNCH: 12pm-3pm.
Women think they're Clever because they can Fake Orgasms ! Big Deal ! We Men, can fake a whole Fucking relationship... for just an orgasm.
A person tired & down bcoz of life's trials & hardships asked God Why so many mountains & hills to climb in life? God replied "For u to have a better view"
V oftn don't express our feelings 4 da fear of losing a relatnship, but da fact remains dat we loose a beautiful relatnship by nt expressing dem!!good morning
Kamvali bai ko 1din condom mila, Malkin: yeh kya hai? MALKIN Tere ghar me SEX nai karte? Bai: Karte hai par itna nai karte ki lund Ki khaal hi utar jaye.
Sardar attend a bio practical exam Exmnr :Tell the bird name by seeing leg Sardar: I dont know Examnr: U fail...Wats ur name? Sardar :See my leg n tel my name.
Height of Sexuality_ A nude woman climbing the leaning Tower of Pisa.. and the Tower becoming 'straight'...!!
Sex karo daily, agar wo mil jaye akeli,agar na mile akeli to pakad lo usaki saheli, agar n mile saheli to zindabad hatheli,but enjoy daily.....
A very old couple decided 2 do Sex. Buddhi; daal diya kya? Budha: haan daal diya. Buddhi: achha to phir AAAHH ""
ogress, the son replied- mom's dead aunt in hospital maid's pregnant my ass hurt's and dad is running naked in garden yelling tommy tommy...."
Banta: Yaar ek masla khada ho gaya hai. Santa: Yaar Itna kyon masla jo sala khada hi ho gaya
Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia? The mafia wants either ur money or life...
A blone goes to dry cleaner & asks to have her sweater cleaned. The attendant dosen't hear her correctly & says, Come again?" Blonde blushes slightly & giggles: "Oh no its just mustard this time.""
A motorist hit a sparow He took d unconscious bird n put in cage with bread n water. Bird wakes up, looks around n screams, AILA JAIL! Gadiwala mar gaya kya?""
HUSBAND-Chalo, tumse Shaadi karke mujhe ek to bahut Fayda hua. WIFE-Koun sa Fayda? HUSBAND-Mujhe mere Gunaho ki saza jeete-jee hi mil gayi.
Bhagt-Hey GOD kya aap meri sharab chhudwa doge? Bhagwan- Kiyon nahi beta? Bhagt-Toh meri 14 Bottles Barnala Police Station me jabt hai woh chhudwa do?
Indian compny got the order for makng 16 condoms frm russians. Employee-sir it is to embaress us. Boss-no problm complete the ordr and mark as small size!;-)"
Q: Why do men pay way more for car insurance? A: Because women can't get blow jobs while driving.
Mobile ko kabhi peechey ki pocket mai mat rakhna, battary fategi to Bund fatt jayegi, log haath se bund dhote hein or aap Bund se hath dho Baithogey @@@.
GRAMMAR TEACHER: PRAKASH BEER NAHI PEETA HAI". IS SENTENCE MEIN PRAKASH KYA HAI? STUDENT: MADAM PRAKASH CHUTIYA HAI."
Latest blockbuster movie SAARE ZAMEEN PAR" premier on BSE and NSE directed produced & acted by Ambani brothers. P0wer 0n Current Gone!"
GRAMMAR TEACHER: RAMESH BEER NAHI PEETA HAI". IS SENTENCE MEIN RAMESH KYA HAI? STUDENT: MADAM RAMESH CHUTIYA HAI."
Latest blockbuster movie SAARE ZAMEEN PAR" premier on BSE and NSE directed produced & acted by Ambani brothers. P0wer 0n Current Gone!"
Sardar: will u marry me? Girl: sorry im a lesbian... Sardar: wats a lesbian? Girl: I like 2 have sex only with girls... Sardar: De taali.. even im a lesbian.
I had vodka wid water.. I felt drunk.. I had whiskey n water.. I felt drunk.. I had rum n water.. I felt drunk.. I swear I wont drink water again...
Girl enters a sex shop,asks-Where are th vibrators? CLERK:Over there mam.Girl:How much for this big red one? CLERK:Sorry madam,that is a fire extinguisher
Utho aalsiyon or desh ka kuch bhala karo.. . . . . . . . . Achcha aap ho kya? sorry sorry aap to wapas so jao.usi me desh ka bhala hai :-) good morning.
Self motivation and a commitment to excel are key traits to success. Never let yesterday's regrets overshadow tomorrow's dreams. Have a great day.:-)
Santa became soldier. His Major said:Santa we are surrounded from all sides by enemies" Santa :"Excellent Sir! We can attack in any direction"."
Bus chali, Jhatka laga, 1 sardar1 ladki pe ja gira,Ladki boli:battmeej kya kar rhe ho. Sardar bola:Ji punjab UNIVERSITY se B.Com.Kar raha hu.
Two Gay Men talking: 1st: Hi sexy. Wanna have sex? 2nd: Sure. Your place or mine? 1st: YOURS! Mine is sore.. :)
Santa: What is ur opinion about women ? Banta:They all are sex objects. Santa: How come? Banta:Whenever I want to have sex, they object...!!
Working Towards Success You Will Become Master Of It, But, Working Towards Satisfaction Makes You A Legend Of It. Good morning n Have A Great Day.
Baari Barsi khattan gya c, khatt k leyandi Hello.. Je sms nai karne taan.... mobile CHITRAAN ch lai lo....
Man to his wife on her Birthday..you can have sex for 1 hour the way u want. Wife jumps kisses him & runs out saying..I'll be back in an hour
* Santa in Bangkok 2a Prost- Hw much For a Hand Job ? Prost- 500 Do U Won it ? Snta- No, I Wanted to know, Hw much I'L b Saving by doing my self. . .
Besides many reasons such as hygiene, social & erotic, there is one more interesting reason for being circumcised... Women GRAB anything with 20% off ...!
Foren return Santa to wife- main New Zealand vich mundayan nal BUNGEE jumping khoob enjoy kiti. Wife-main v pind vich mundya nal MANJI jumping khub enjoy kiti..
Laugh so hard tat even sorrow smiles at u! Live life so well tat even death loves to see u live! Fight so hard tat even fate accepts its defeat.Gudmorn :-)
Woman sitting on a park bench. Beggar: Hi darling..! Lets have some fun.. Woman angrily : How dare U! Beggar: Then What r U doing on my BED??
A SARDAR USED TO GO TO COLLEGE ALONG WITH HIS DOG A FEW YEARS LATER SARDAR GOES TO THE COLLEGE ALONE BECAUSE DOG HAD GRADUATED
Santa became soldier. His Major said:Santa we are surrounded from all sides by enemies" Santa :"Excellent Sir! We can attack in any direction"."
2 NURSES discuss their FIRST NIGHT. 1st: First WE did MOUTH to MOUTH RESPIRATION, then CARDIAC MASSAGE then CATHETERISATION. & U? 2nd: Oh! I just had an ENEMA!.
A woman to doctor my hub is never intrsd in sex". Doc-take these pills one for a day".At home she puts 1 pill in his tea and they had sex tht night next"
Gabbar:Kitne Admi the. Sambha:Srdar 2 Gb:Mujhe ginti nahi ati, 2 kitne hote hai? Smb:Srdar 2 1 ke bad ata hai. Gab:Or 2 k pehle? Smb:2 k pehle 1 ata hai. Gabbr:To beech me kon ata hai?
Samb:Bichme koi nahi ata. Gab:To fir Dono ek sath Q nahi ate? Smb:2 1 k bad hi a skta he, Qki 2 1 se bada hai. Gab:2 1 se Kitna bada hai? Samb:2 1 se 1 bada hai? Gab:agar 2 1 se 1 bada he to ek 1 se kitna bada hai? Smb:Srdar,mene apka namak khaya he.Muje Goli mardo
Wife: I went 2 the doc. 2day & he said I hv breasts of a 25 yr old." Husband: "What did he say about the 50 yr old ass?" Wife: "We didnt talk about u. at all.""
Shadi me santa bahut der se khana kha raha tha. Dusre ne pucha kab tak khaoge? Santa: main to khud kha kha ke dukhi hu par card me likha tha LUNCH: 12pm-3pm.
Women think they're Clever because they can Fake Orgasms ! Big Deal ! We Men, can fake a whole Fucking relationship... for just an orgasm.
A person tired & down bcoz of life's trials & hardships asked God Why so many mountains & hills to climb in life? God replied "For u to have a better view"
V oftn don't express our feelings 4 da fear of losing a relatnship, but da fact remains dat we loose a beautiful relatnship by nt expressing dem!!good morning
Kamvali bai ko 1din condom mila, Malkin: yeh kya hai? MALKIN Tere ghar me SEX nai karte? Bai: Karte hai par itna nai karte ki lund Ki khaal hi utar jaye.
Sardar attend a bio practical exam Exmnr :Tell the bird name by seeing leg Sardar: I dont know Examnr: U fail...Wats ur name? Sardar :See my leg n tel my name.
Height of Sexuality_ A nude woman climbing the leaning Tower of Pisa.. and the Tower becoming 'straight'...!!
Sex karo daily, agar wo mil jaye akeli,agar na mile akeli to pakad lo usaki saheli, agar n mile saheli to zindabad hatheli,but enjoy daily.....
A very old couple decided 2 do Sex. Buddhi; daal diya kya? Budha: haan daal diya. Buddhi: achha to phir AAAHH ""
ogress, the son replied- mom's dead aunt in hospital maid's pregnant my ass hurt's and dad is running naked in garden yelling tommy tommy...."
Banta: Yaar ek masla khada ho gaya hai. Santa: Yaar Itna kyon masla jo sala khada hi ho gaya
Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia? The mafia wants either ur money or life...
A blone goes to dry cleaner & asks to have her sweater cleaned. The attendant dosen't hear her correctly & says, Come again?" Blonde blushes slightly & giggles: "Oh no its just mustard this time.""
A motorist hit a sparow He took d unconscious bird n put in cage with bread n water. Bird wakes up, looks around n screams, AILA JAIL! Gadiwala mar gaya kya?""
HUSBAND-Chalo, tumse Shaadi karke mujhe ek to bahut Fayda hua. WIFE-Koun sa Fayda? HUSBAND-Mujhe mere Gunaho ki saza jeete-jee hi mil gayi.
Bhagt-Hey GOD kya aap meri sharab chhudwa doge? Bhagwan- Kiyon nahi beta? Bhagt-Toh meri 14 Bottles Barnala Police Station me jabt hai woh chhudwa do?
Indian compny got the order for makng 16 condoms frm russians. Employee-sir it is to embaress us. Boss-no problm complete the ordr and mark as small size!;-)"
Q: Why do men pay way more for car insurance? A: Because women can't get blow jobs while driving.
Friday, January 18, 2008
Bipin's SMS Jokes
Stock broker catches his wife in bed with another man. He asks her, What's going on?" She says "Due to boom in market honey I've gone PUBLIC!""
Unmarried santa use to take viagra daily .Frnd.Y u take viagra as u r not married nor hav gf? santa yar kam se kam,kachhe me rounak to lagi rehti hai.
Ek Srdr ki sapne me kisi ne gand mar di ! 2nd day Srdr ne apna bank acnt close karwa diya.Kyon ki bank me likha tha Hum aap k Sapno ko hakikat me badal denge""
2 men sitting in bar. 1 man said 2 other i have hell lot of family problems". Other said: "i will tell you mine. I married a widow with a daughter. My father married my daughter so my father becomes my son in law my daughter becomes my mother my wife became my grandmother. More problems occured when i had a son. My son is my mother's brother and my uncle. Situation worsened when my father had a son. Now my father's son i.e. my brother is my grandson. Ultimately i have become my own grandfather and grandson. And u say u have family problems.""
Mom found a Condom in Daughter's Bedroom She went Straight to her and asked What is this? Girl replied-Toh aap kya Chahti hain mein is umra mein Maa ban Jaau.
A dentist was removing the tooth of a lady,Dentist- Maam u r holding my balls.Woman- I know, its just to remind you that we are not going 2 hurt each other.
Fantastic Ad for Taj Mahal made by an Ad agency: Come Via-Agra.. and see Man's Greatest Erection for a Woman...""
Sardar proposes a beautiful girl - Darling will u marry me...? Girl - Tameez se baat karo... Sardar - Behenji, mujhse shaadi karogi......!!!
A Punjabi Bra Ad- Har kudi di pehli pasand *PREETO BRA*. Hun 6 sizan wich, 1. Small 2. Medium 3. Large 4. Balle balle 5. Hai o Rabba 6. Oh Teri pehn di
Secret of winter life Morning two EGGS wid MILK Evening two PEGGS wid CHIPPS and Night two LEGGS wid LIPPS Enjoy winter wid my TIPPS
Stock broker catches his wife in bed with another man. He asks her, What's going on?" She says "Due to boom in market honey I've gone PUBLIC!""
2 Sardar Jungle Me Sher Aaya 1Ne Mitti Uthayi Sher Ki Aankh Me Dalke Bhagte Hue Chillaya'Abe Bhag' 2nd:Main Kyun Bhagu? Mitti tune dali hai.
God asked Women Did I make a Mistake in Designing Men"? Women: Its OK Except that the "JOY STICK" meant for us is not made Detachable & they Often Miss-use it"
Progress isn't made by early risers or hard workers, but by LAZY people,trying to find easier ways to do the same....
When it rains all d birds occupy shelter,but Eagles alone avoid d rain by flying above the clouds. Problems are common to all but ATTITUDE makes the difference
Wife: Nahi aaj nahi dalwaoongi. Hubby: kyon. Wife:Tum to daal k so gaye mgr mein saari raat masalti rahi, pani bhi niklta raha,drd bhi hota raha....... mujhe lagta h yeh..., EYE DROPS sahi nahi hai.
Q: Why is a Gun better than your Wife? A: Because you can put a silencer to it.
The Indian government today announced that it is changing its national emblem to a CONDOM... because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance. A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed .....
Do you know the purpose of life? God sent us to find such friends, that if we meet them even in hell they say: Chal yaar yamraj ki lete hai" !!"
Kabir ka latest Doha: Unchi gaand oont ki, dekh kabira roye. Aisi gaand kis kaam ki jo maar sake na koye.
2 Sardar Jungle Me Sher Aaya 1Ne Mitti Uthayi Sher Ki Aankh Me Dalke Bhagte Hue Chillaya'Abe Bhag' 2nd:Main Kyun Bhagu? Mitti tune dali hai.
Unmarried santa use to take viagra daily .Frnd.Y u take viagra as u r not married nor hav gf? santa yar kam se kam,kachhe me rounak to lagi rehti hai.
Ek Srdr ki sapne me kisi ne gand mar di ! 2nd day Srdr ne apna bank acnt close karwa diya.Kyon ki bank me likha tha Hum aap k Sapno ko hakikat me badal denge""
2 men sitting in bar. 1 man said 2 other i have hell lot of family problems". Other said: "i will tell you mine. I married a widow with a daughter. My father married my daughter so my father becomes my son in law my daughter becomes my mother my wife became my grandmother. More problems occured when i had a son. My son is my mother's brother and my uncle. Situation worsened when my father had a son. Now my father's son i.e. my brother is my grandson. Ultimately i have become my own grandfather and grandson. And u say u have family problems.""
Mom found a Condom in Daughter's Bedroom She went Straight to her and asked What is this? Girl replied-Toh aap kya Chahti hain mein is umra mein Maa ban Jaau.
A dentist was removing the tooth of a lady,Dentist- Maam u r holding my balls.Woman- I know, its just to remind you that we are not going 2 hurt each other.
Fantastic Ad for Taj Mahal made by an Ad agency: Come Via-Agra.. and see Man's Greatest Erection for a Woman...""
Sardar proposes a beautiful girl - Darling will u marry me...? Girl - Tameez se baat karo... Sardar - Behenji, mujhse shaadi karogi......!!!
A Punjabi Bra Ad- Har kudi di pehli pasand *PREETO BRA*. Hun 6 sizan wich, 1. Small 2. Medium 3. Large 4. Balle balle 5. Hai o Rabba 6. Oh Teri pehn di
Secret of winter life Morning two EGGS wid MILK Evening two PEGGS wid CHIPPS and Night two LEGGS wid LIPPS Enjoy winter wid my TIPPS
Stock broker catches his wife in bed with another man. He asks her, What's going on?" She says "Due to boom in market honey I've gone PUBLIC!""
2 Sardar Jungle Me Sher Aaya 1Ne Mitti Uthayi Sher Ki Aankh Me Dalke Bhagte Hue Chillaya'Abe Bhag' 2nd:Main Kyun Bhagu? Mitti tune dali hai.
God asked Women Did I make a Mistake in Designing Men"? Women: Its OK Except that the "JOY STICK" meant for us is not made Detachable & they Often Miss-use it"
Progress isn't made by early risers or hard workers, but by LAZY people,trying to find easier ways to do the same....
When it rains all d birds occupy shelter,but Eagles alone avoid d rain by flying above the clouds. Problems are common to all but ATTITUDE makes the difference
Wife: Nahi aaj nahi dalwaoongi. Hubby: kyon. Wife:Tum to daal k so gaye mgr mein saari raat masalti rahi, pani bhi niklta raha,drd bhi hota raha....... mujhe lagta h yeh..., EYE DROPS sahi nahi hai.
Q: Why is a Gun better than your Wife? A: Because you can put a silencer to it.
The Indian government today announced that it is changing its national emblem to a CONDOM... because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance. A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed .....
Do you know the purpose of life? God sent us to find such friends, that if we meet them even in hell they say: Chal yaar yamraj ki lete hai" !!"
Kabir ka latest Doha: Unchi gaand oont ki, dekh kabira roye. Aisi gaand kis kaam ki jo maar sake na koye.
2 Sardar Jungle Me Sher Aaya 1Ne Mitti Uthayi Sher Ki Aankh Me Dalke Bhagte Hue Chillaya'Abe Bhag' 2nd:Main Kyun Bhagu? Mitti tune dali hai.
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